I was taking some time out of my home office last week and got a huge day's work done in a hip Web 2.0-stylee café in downtown Cologne. And had coffee ... and some more coffee and a bagel ... and then I spotted it! Vista! In the wild! My first sighting! And it got better! I was able to observe some of its security rituals! Read on for details ...

Here, for you, the actual Skype chat that went down live between me and my mentor, Obi-Wan during the incident. I have highlighted some key events.

Note: follow along with the time codes.

Me: 14:01:45 the girl next to me in the cafe is running Vista!
Obi-Wan: 14:01:50 hehe
Obi-Wan: 14:01:54 don't touch her
Me: 14:01:54 first time I've seen it in the wild
Me: 14:01:57 no way
Me: 14:01:59 get this:
Me: 14:02:06 she asked my for help
Obi-Wan: 14:02:08 !
Me: 14:02:15 'cause she can't get online with the free hotspot here
Obi-Wan: 14:02:19 HAHA
Me: 14:02:27 which doesn't have any splash page or log in or anything
Obi-Wan: 14:02:36 too funny
Me: 14:02:45 I said, "Oh I use this old external card and it just ... works, you know?"
Obi-Wan: 14:02:59 I'm sure she appreciated that
Me: 14:03:02 I SO WISH I were using my Ubuntu today ...
Me: 14:03:06 she was very nice about it
Obi-Wan: 14:03:07 yeah
Me: 14:03:17 the guy next to us is now intently trying to help her
Me: 14:03:34 maybe he'll score
Obi-Wan: 14:03:42 "I am in!"
Me: 14:03:45 right
Me: 14:03:51 attempting entry
Me: 14:04:04 they are gong through x-hundred access screens
Obi-Wan: 14:04:10 gosh
Me: 14:04:18 the windows internal network shit was always junk, though
Obi-Wan: 14:04:21 neither Vista nor Ubuntu can compare to the Mac
...
Me: 14:05:51 I bet vista freezes if you put in an external network card
Me: 14:06:00 did you listen to those pod casts I told you about?
Obi-Wan: 14:06:58 not the typical "Do you want to go online?" "Would you like to sign up for AOL?" "Would you like to sign up for CompuServe?" "No, really?" "How about MSN?" "NO???? Ok. Then maybe you want to set up a home or business intranet or extranet or LAN or wan or san or IP relay and join MSN. Right?"
Obi-Wan: 14:07:44 Peter Gutmann's A cost analysis of Windows Vista content protection ... right?
Me: 14:07:46 listen to the "suicide note" pod casts
Me: 14:07:51 yes
Me: 14:07:52 all four
Obi-Wan: 14:07:56 cool
Me: 14:08:03 absolutely worth it
Me: 14:08:12 your nose will be a mile higher up in the air
Me: 14:08:14 as a Mac owner
...
Me: 14:22:20 dude - real time update: he just got it online.
Obi-Wan: 14:22:27 woot?
Me: 14:22:30 I!
Me: 14:22:32 LOVE!
Me: 14:22:34 THIS!
Me: 14:22:38 COMPANY!
Obi-Wan: 14:22:59 lol
Me: 14:23:37 oh wait ... I misunderstood
Me: 14:23:52 he just handed her HIS laptop and is still working on hers
Me: 14:23:57 now rebooting
Obi-Wan: 14:24:00 hahaaaaaaaaaa
Me: 14:24:02 asked for her password
Obi-Wan: 14:24:06 ooh
Obi-Wan: 14:24:09 getting serious
Me: 14:24:12 she said it is "[removed]"
Me: 14:24:14 yeah
Me: 14:24:16 really
Obi-Wan: 14:24:21 this is called social engineering hacking
Me: 14:24:39 "I met my wife through Vista security measures"
Obi-Wan: 14:25:02 he will soo own her laptop
Obi-Wan: 14:25:08 keystroke sniffer
Obi-Wan: 14:25:28 piped tunnel to her webcam so he can stare at her while she works
Me: 14:25:45 yee-ha baby
Me: 14:25:49 you know it
Obi-Wan: 14:26:18 All because of Vista
Me: 14:26:35 I am laughing out loud here
Me: 14:26:40 for real
Obi-Wan: 14:26:49 get back to work!
Me: 14:27:03 yes Obi-Wan
...
Me: 14:53:08 I think he just got online ...
Me: 14:53:21 let's look at the time stamps
Me: 14:54:34 52 minutes!

So there we have it! Windows Vista online at a free WiFi Hotspot in only 52 minutes! I'll say it for the record now: I'm not planning on buying a Windows Vista system. Everything I've heard so far sounds like wasted and misdirected development time and money. I'd also like to save the world from a little bit of global warming by not wasting all that computing power on "protecting" so-called "premium content" from me, its owner on a computer that I supposedly own.